redlikecrimson | RL with Ken

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rl with ken

RL with Ken

Since he'd been sharing a bed with Ken, Aya found he'd been able to sleep more peacefully. He hadn't found himself having a nightmare in quite awhile and he'd almost forgotten what it was like to actually be able to just rest. Tonight though, his body had other plans.

At first it wasn't obvious. His face became a frown but there was no other indication that anything might be wrong. It was at that time that his dream started to become darker, almost as if it were twisting into terrible things just to torment him properly. He didn't want to see these visions but there they were, haunting his rest.

So, he started to shift in his sleep, unusual since he typically could remain still the entire time. And he remained unaware of the fact that he might disturb Ken.

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Ken was curled up next to Aya, asleep as well. Usually, he could sleep through anything save for his own bad dreams, mission emergencies and such, but since getting used to having Aya in bed with him, he'd grown pretty aware of him as well. When Aya started to move in his sleep, he knew something wasn't quite right. Yawning, he turned over, then shifted up to rest on his elbow as he reached out to touch his arm.

"... Aya?"

Aya didn't awaken right away, rather distracted by the voices in the dream. The ones that told him all the things he never wanted to hear. How he would never find redemption. How he was corrupted and stained.

What made the dream so real was that he was sure the voices were right...

Now he knew something wasn't right. Sitting up, he watched the redhead closely as he reached up to slide his hand over his hair.

"Aya. Sweetheart... come on. Wake up."

Curling on his side a bit, Aya didn't hear the words right away. His mind seemed to want to cling to the dream that he was experiencing instead. Yet, there was a part of him that...wanted to reach out for that hand in his hair.

His eyes flew open and he panted while he tried to figure out...what happened.

Slowly, he turned his head to look up at his partner. "...Ken?"

He never stopped touching Aya. Having dealt with his own nightmares, he knew it sometime helped.

"No, it's Michel. Of course it's me."

It took him a moment to realize that he was awake and that there was a hand in his hair, comforting him. Honestly, it was helping. Closing his eyes, he leaned towards the touch a bit.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up."

His fingers were nothing more than idle contact, but Ken never let them stop moving.

"I'm not."

"You don't have to stay up."

He felt bad for waking Ken up like this. Especially over as something as simple as a nightmare.

"I know I don't."

The last thing Ken would do was fall back asleep. That doesn't mean he didn't move to lay back down on his back, but as soon as he was settled, he opened his arms to his lover.

"You haven't had a bad dream in a while."

Opening his eyes, he saw Ken's arms open for him and couldn't help the relieved little smile. Moving over, he pressed himself up against his side to take comfort from the warmth of his body.

"Not since I've been sharing a bed with you. I don't know where this one came from."

His arms wrapped around Aya and tucked him a little closer.

"Have you had anything on your mind lately?"

"Mostly the same things I usually do."

Since he internalized a lot, there was plenty that could go through his mind on any given day.

Oh Aya. Ken knew you far too well. Shaking his head, he sighed.

"So way too much, then."

"You say that like I think too much."

Though really, he was sure that it wasn't too far from the truth.

"So what did you dream about."

Of course, there was no way Ken was going to agree that yes, he thought Aya thought too much. He always even if he didn't realize it.

"What those dreams usually are about. The people I've lost, the people I've abandoned, the people I've killed. Usually there's blood and Kikyou telling me I'm a monster and that it's pointless for me to seek out redemption."

One would think that he'd be used to them by now but he never could find it in him to get over the dreams. Maybe because some part of him still believed the words were too close to the truth for comfort.

Ken knew that getting used to the dreams never really happened. Sure, they'd come and go, even disappearing for long enough to make them wonder if they'd finally gotten over them, but they always seemed to come back.

"You've never been a monster, Ran. You never will be. You did the things you did because you had to."

Hearing those words from Ken was soothing so he said nothing right away. Aya wanted to memorize the sound of them first. It was sad that he needed the comfort but he could change the facts that this was helping.

"I question myself often." No matter how confident he came across, he still questioned himself multiple times a day in the hopes of making sure he hadn't changed for the worse.

The silence was fine. He knew he he was thinking again, but as long as it wasn't destructive thinking, it was alright.

When Aya spoke again, he tightened his arms in a warm hug.

"I know you do. You always have."

"You see right through me, don't you."

It wasn't even a question. Honestly, he was grateful to have someone that understood him like this. It took more weight off his shoulders than he would ever admit to.

That pulled a soft chuckle from Ken before he leaned down enough to brush a kiss to the crown of Aya's head.

"We've been friends for a long time, Ran. "

"We have."

Looking up, he opened his eyes so he could watch Ken's face through the shadows of the room. "Having you do that would have irritated me when we first met."

"Oh? Well, everything irritated you when we first met."

He met Aya's gaze with a faint smile.

"'Truer words were never spoken.'"

He said the words in English since it sounded better that way before switching back to Japanese. "At least I grew past that."

The little language switch earned Aya a bit of a poke to his side.

"No English in bed."

Aya blinked at the poke, jolting a bit since it startled him.

"You poked me."

And Ken just smiled.

"You've grown a lot since I met you. Why don't you realize that?"

"I see some things."

He at least got that much. It was better than not seeing anything, right?

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RL with Ken

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